Friday, June 5, 2009
This week has been a hard one for me. I have decided that today, Figerprint Fridays, is a perfect place to reflect on the one major thing that has been eating at my heart.
I found out that my friend's dads cancer had returned - he was give at most two weeks to live or to try to fight it with chemo (a 10% chance). He chose to fight it because 10% is better then 0%, he passed away less then a week later.
Shannon and her dad, Mike, had a relation ship so much like the one with me and my dad. She talked to him all the time, he was there for her when ever she needed something, she was his life. The cancer brought them even closer together, knowing that God might decide that he wants Mike with him made them both realize that the time they had together was precious. They needed to talk, laugh, love like it could be the last day they had but hoping, praying that God wouldn't want Mike in Heaven, that he would let him stay and live the life that he had started here on earth.
I think it hurts my heart so much because Shannon is such a great person. She is loving, kind, will drop anything for you, and even let you have a party at her house. She is amazing. My heart hurts knowing that her dad will not be there to walk her down the aisle when she gets married, hold his first grandchild from her, see her grow in Gods light even more.
After this I've realized that cancer can affect anyone. No matter you age, height, weight, color of your skin, etc... Mike is about the same age as my dad. Thankfully Shannon lived about 20 min away from her dad, and when he was sick she could go after work everyday and see him, soak up the time she had with him. I'm so scared that something will happen to my dad now. He is over 600 miles away from me. I can't just pop in and see him when I want. It takes months of planning for me to see him. What if this was him, what would I have done? Would I have dropped everything in my life and gone to be with him? I really don't even have to ask that question... I know the answer, of course I would. My dad is my life, I don't know what I would do if I lost him - this is why I hurt for Shannon, they have the same relationship I do with my dad.
So, after all of this I'm feeling I should share how I've seen God's Fingerprints in all of this sadness. I have been pretty bummed this week and last night it hit me pretty hard. But I see God, helping me through all of this... holding out his hand for me to grab so I don't fall down. Helping me be strong for my friend, no matter if it's just saying prayers for her or if it's just sitting with her while she cries. He reminds me that when I start to get angry, sad, frustrated at things around me to put it into his hands and he will show me the way he had planned.
I'm sorry for the rambling and sad story. But that God's Fingerprints to me this week. I hope next week will be filled with laughter and happiness but it's in God's hands now and only time will tell.
From Beci's Blog:
There is a song by Steven Curtis Chapman that says:
I can see the fingerprints of god
When I look at you I can see the fingerprints of god
And I know it’s true
You're a masterpiece
That all creation quietly applauds
And you're covered with the fingerprints of God
So look around you and see where YOU can see God's fingerprints. Is it in nature? Kids? Animals? Where do you see them? Here's how to join in - Go to Becki's Blog!